Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Blog Challenge No. 4: Self Awareness

I hate to admit this, there are areas of my "self" which I am present and "aware", but there are many others that I am completely unaware (mostly out of choice). The topic of self awareness presented by Dian Reid's Self Evidence + Authenticity Blog Challenge isn't one I'm running to grab hold of. And I have to stop and ask myself, "Why?".

Truth be told - I think there's an underlying current of personal shame when it comes to self awareness. Well, what does it mean to be "aware"? I took the time to look it up on and here's what it defines aware as:
1. having knowledge; conscious; cognizant
2. informed; alert; sophisticated.

One area I'm trying to become self aware is how am I taking care of myself? How am I abusing myself? Hurting myself? Keeping myself distant from growth or new experience? Why is it, that I am better at caring for others but stink at caring for myself? I'm scratching my head on this one. I'm still scratching too. And no, I haven't had figured it out, not even close. I'm just finally accepting the fact that I haven't always been nor am I currently totally self aware. But I wanna move in that direction, I want to own it, the good, the bad and the ugly. And as far I'm concerned, it's not pretty.

I've been reading Geneen Roth's, Women Food and God, slowly. In fact, it's probably something I will read at least once year because one of Geneen's principles revolves around self awareness with respect to what you're eating, what you're not eating and whether or not you trust yourself. Man, that resonates with me. Do I trust myself? Am I even aware of whether or not I trust myself? I'm hoping that as continue to write, read and investigate myself, I'll be able to start answering these tough questions. Of course, the ultimate goal is to take action, to take better care of myself, to constantly check in with "me" and see where I'm at, what my needs are, my heart's desires, etc.

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