For the next round of Dian Reid's Authenticity Blog Challenge, I chose the topic of courage. For me, this one is definitely personal and while I'm going to attempt to correlate my love of food with the various topics, this one is on a whole other level.
Courage takes shape in one of the greatest unknowns - moving across country for love. In the fall of 2005, I fell in love. Smack dab across the concrete of love, I fell hard. I pursued a long distance relationship with a fellow in the Midwest and subsequently, one year later, I made the ultimate transition and relocated to be with him. Now that takes courage - guts and a lil' glory too. To step out of my confort zones, uproot my life and plant a new one in totally unchartered territory.
And while moving across country for love takes courage, there's an even greater of level of courage that birthed in me. That form of courage played out in the decision to end the relationship and move back home to California. It was tumultuous, grueling, and even when I stepped back onto California soil, I still wrestled with my decision. Did I make the right decision? Could we have made it work? Would I be happy? Would I be true to my heart's desires?
Today marks 10 months since I left the Midwest and while there is still a bittersweet sorrow that looms, I can honestly say it was the most courageous decision I've made to date. By far, I'm not perfect and I wouldn't admit to having it all together, let alone being completely healed and whole from the closure of that relationship, but I chose courage over hardship. Courage over complacency. The courage to accept who I am and what I am not cut out for. The courage to love and let go. The courage to be me wholeheartedly. I think what ultimately steered me in the right decision, was the fear of not exercising that courage. The fear of not being true to myself.
How has courage played a part in your past or your present? Or how has not exercising courage kept you from your true self?
** photo taken on my road trip heading back to LA, August 2009. This one was taken in Utah at a scenic stop.